nobody raise your voices

i am overcome.
i feel the presence of so many emotions, tugging at one another vying for supremacy, deciding who will get to ride this wave with me. i don't know what to think or to feel, i don't know who or what i am, i don't know what it's all about. i looked at the sky earlier, and the clouds moved away and i could see straight up, i didn't know it but i was seeing it all, further out than i could ever venture, and i'm just so small. i can allow all the forces at work keeping all this together to tug me around with them and show me the way, but it's so scary not to know what's next. we know nothing at all like we think we do, and at the highest level everything you ever knew, loved, or thought you did is just an instant, a tiny unmeasurable factor in whatever happens from moment to moment. it's worrying that you'll collapse inward before everything else does, that you won't allow yourself to reach the moment you feel is impending- and why not? it's fear, and it's built in so there's no connection between you and everything that made you. i am part of the nothing that makes up everything.