i have good news.

On the Radio by Regina Spektor
I might not have enough loan money for my housing; I still haven't packed my room and I leave in 20 days; I have no plans for my birthday (approaching rapidly); my dog won't stop barking outside my window.
And then there is the news that actually IS awesome:
I'LL BE EIGHTEEN IN THREE DAYS; there is this way awesome kid who won't stop texting me and being nice to me who brought me SONIC today; my hands smell like oil pastels; my quarantine ended today! (Seriously who gets pink eye anymore? oh yeah. I do.)
So I don't really have any other news. Basically I need to pack up my room, pack up my life, get ready to go. And in the next 3 weeks I somehow have to squeeze in, all that packing, turning eighteen, attempting to get my license, going to Minneapolis, going to VEGAS, and seeing my beloved friends and family as much as possible. Oh well. Sleep is for the dead, right?
RIGHT. (le snore).
I only feel motivated to pack when I don't actually have the ability to do it. I think i will brew up some espresso, disguise it with lots of cream and sugar and pull an all- nighter to get this mess done. Yes. That is just what I'll do. As soon as Sixteen and Pregnant goes off.
This show is fascinating. I actually just wrote a whole schpiel about it but then realized that it was going nowhere as the words just piled up into a big ol' smelly rant. Suffice it to say, it's better than health class.
I have to stop procrastinating.
I have to pack, right now.
I have to.
I don't wanna.
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

Hi, my name is Jesaka, and I have Blog Alzheimer's.

Warrior by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I get the bad blogger award. I always forget. It's possible that deep down I don't think what I have to say is that important. It's more likely, however, that I am just way too forgetful.
Anyway, to make amends, I begin a new ritual for my blog. As music is being pumped into my head about 90% of the time, I will provide you wonderful readers (yes, both of you) with a track or two for each blog. It's what I'm listening to while I write, or just something that properly conveys the vibe of my thoughts at the time. Above you'll notice the player. So go ahead and hit play before you read on.
When I actually have things going on in my life - things I am not silly enough to discuss on the internet, but suffice it to say I've been knocked down a bit lately and am learning to stand once again- I seem to forget to share them, here, in what is supposed to be my oasis of thought, a basin of my own being in which i may lay down my burdens temporarily and maybe wallow in them a little.
It seems awkward to play catch up on such a monumental year of my life. But.
I graduated, I did some things I maybe shouldn't have done, I had the best and worst summer of my whole entire life, and there would have been no better send- off to college.
There's just no way to describe all the things I've learned so far this year. I may not be any more confident, or much smarter, but now more than ever I'm secure in what I believe. And I guess it takes trials against those things that make a person themselves, to really cement them.
So, The moral of the story is: I will try to be a better blogger, as I face newer and more trying... er, trials... in the months, days, years to come.
Kisses.